the perpetual inner struggle

I have an inner struggle I deal with on a daily basis. When people talk about inner struggles, they often mention something life-changing, but mine is much more shallow than that. You see,  every morning I wake up and I force myself to go to the gym. Then I come home and the inner struggle begins. I never want to get ready. I do. I get ready. I shower, put on something kind of attractive (only kind of because it is inevitably maternity), paint my face a little, and if I'm feeling very generous I will even do my hair. But every time I return from the gym, comfy in my gym clothes, I can't help but think "I'm not going anywhere today. I could just stay in these clothes and jump in the shower tonight before Boyf gets home...." This may seem like a shallow inner struggle to you--because it is. And still, it happens every day. So today, I decided to give myself something to look forward to as motivation for getting ready: SHOPPING! I happily climbed in the shower and thought about my wardrobe options all the while. I thought about what stores I could peruse at the Stanford Shopping Center and my spirits were lifted. Until I got out of the shower and remembered that we don't have money for me to spend. Now I'm not sure if I really want to go shopping and my entire plot for combating my lack of desire to get ready is foiled. My hair is still wet and I'm half-dressed.