I HAVE OTHER BLOGS.
There, I said it. I never got rid of my old blogs, I never transferred the posts, they are just sitting there, taunting me, willing me to "come back!" They are lonely, I know it. Tonight, in a moment of weakness, I updated an old blog. The blog I abandoned for THIS blog. And I know exactly why I did it. Since I had a baby 11 LONG months ago, I have felt constricted by the "boundaries of motherhood". That is in quotations not because it is a real thing, but because I had made it real in my head. People want to remember things that are nice and good and lovely and all of those things you think motherhood will be when you are living in your imagination and still 13. I read other people's blogs. I read my friends blogs. I think most of my friends are honest; I don't know if I can believe that everyone blogging is, but I do know that when I blog I am not always honest with myself. In the spirit of honesty, I have decided to post here what I posted THERE.
NEWSFLASH: IT ISN'T LIKE THAT. My house is a perpetual disaster, I am breaking out in zits 12 years behind the curve, I can't sleep and I am always tired, makeup no longer has any effect on my self-esteem, and I am 30 pounds overweight.
So I'm back. As me. I'm sick of trying to be positive about my fairly awesome, but nevertheless fatally flawed life. Bring out the trumpets, herald the bells, IT'S CHRISTMAS TIME AND I'M NOT BUYING YOU ANYTHING.